Kishor's Kitchen ( Kookin' for Klowns )

"I use a home brew to clean my LPs, it is a wet-non-suck-off-but-rinsed-under-a-shower.." ...

"Budget constraint and collection size doesn't justify a VPI BUT I reckon that since both my LPs and I can take a shower together, I'm game. Any particular 'formula'?" ...

These were some topics bandied about by Vinly lovers one night around the Lounge while sharing some beers and playing "Mine is Bigger than Yours". After being asked to repeat his 'fomula' umpteem times cos almost everyone was way too drunk to write it down, Kishor takes it on himself to distill his formula onto parchment so TELLians will quit bugging him for his 'Kambing Soup' recipe.

Requirements: Distilled water - (I buy the stuff off the shelves of Cold Storage - No Frills type but I am sure you can get something purer from a pharmacy; I am suspect about the distilled water sold at Watson's as it tastes a little sweeter; sugar may be added to enhance its flavour and sugar residue can cause distortion if not removed completely off the LPs).

Isopropyl alcohol - with a min 70% purity. Available at a Pharmacy near you. DO NOT USE ANY OTHER TYPES OF ALCOHOL. Detergent - MaMa Lemon is said to be the best but you may use any dish washing type available. NOTE Please, it is DETERGENT that I mentioned and NOT SCOURING agents (powder or liquid). If you decide to use scouring agents, please expect the worse.

The mix - 85 -90% distilled H2O and the balance is Isopropyl alcohol (10 - 15%) and a few drops (4 - 5) of MaMa Lemon. If u are making 1 ltr of the mix it would be 850 - 900 ml of H2O and 100 - 150 ml of ISO. I sometimes add a little more ISO (+50ml). NOTE Please - do not use pure ISO on vinyl, though it has not been established but it is felt that pure ISO may damage vinyl on the long run.

Others - one sealed and heavy tin/container with a diameter close to the LPs label size, e.g. margarine, one 3"-4" wide paint brush, available at any art supply shop (I use a Squirrel brand made in China #8) but u may be able to find something better at record/HiFi dealers; ask the guys @ Music by Design (MBD) where they got their's or ask them to procure one for you. BTW MBD cleans LPs @$2.00 a piece and they replace the inner sleeve as well. A shower head that sprays fast jets of water and a basin.

Now We're Cookin'
First rinse the LP under the shower head over the basin. This is to remove the bigger grime that may act as a scouring agent and scratch your LPs while cleaning. I then place the LP on the heavy tin with the rim size of the label and drop 20 - 30 drops of the mix onto the LP and use the brush to 1st spread the mix onto the LP and then brush up a decent lather, first on one side then the other. Apply sufficient presure to effect cleaning; remember vinyl is pretty durable but also remember that it does break due to excessive force, so clean with your hand and mind. Rinse the bugger good and proper, shake excessive water off and place it tilt against a wall and let nature do its part. I know people may say that after a wash why let dust be attracted onto a wet surface? If you are able to find a cloth that does not shed any lint, by all means use it to 'pat' dry the visible wet areas. But do leave it out of its packaging to completely dry off the surface. Otherwise mould will attack.

** I do spin 'em on a sturdy but smooth and round Ball P'pen when I am impatient to hear the record but usually I just bounce the H2O off on some newspapers laid flat on the floor (the newspaper is laid flat and not the LP) and then just lean the LP against the wall, on a tilt, on the newspaper. The rest is taken cared by nature and time. Results are pretty good, so far.

Remember this, you only need to go through with this procedure per LP every once in a long while, e.g. if you play the very LP everyday then u may need to clean it once a month, otherwise once every 30-40 plays. I leave this to the playback system to tell me if they require a bath. Get new inner sleeves if you buy used records.

Happy tweaking.